I have been intensely doing meditation since 2003, when I had a profound transformation early that year. The great impact could clearly be felt inside and out of myself up until 2005. In 2006 and 2007, due to the sudden opportunities of doing 1 full time job and 2 part time jobs, there was a temporary interruption of the earnest practice and the tranquility.
2008 is the year when I started to share my experience on the web. At the same time, I picked up my regular meditation practice, plus the charkra work.
Life took off big time from there, spiritually and professionally.
Most of times during the day, I put 100% of myself in the work, sometimes even 120%, which is not even fair for myself.
During the weekend, I usually take a little time to unwind, going from being excited, intense, to being relaxed, quiet, and contemplative.
In the beginning of the process, I often realized how tired and sleepy I really am. The high stress during the week accumulates and doesn't have time to be released totally.
Familiar with this true place deep down, at least I know what the bottom line feels like and how far off I am away from it, and simply going back and forth each week.
After I totally unwind, I often feel surreal how wonderful everything is and how wonderful I feel. This is when I feel this urge to share, contribute, or connect.
It can be overwhelming to feel good. I would feel compelled to do something or look for something that matches how I feel inside. I try to look for books, good talks in meditation center, good movies about spirtuality.
Often times, my search comes back empty handed. Some books are good, but I know I have past those described in the books. Some movies are good, but they didn't exactly go into the point of where this can take us. Going to meditation center is good, but I found that what I share seem to be too far ahead...
I learned that there is nothing out there to look for, it is all in me. I need to create and make whatever I feel inside into reality. I need to bring it out into the world. There is nothing to search. There is no where to go. Just create. Just make it happen. Just do something.
I am in the driver's seat. I am holding the brushes in front of the easel. I am totally powerful and in control.
Look nowhere else. It's all up to me.
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