I remember in one of the episode of Hoarders on A & E, an old woman has made her own house a dumpster with piles and piles of stuff, trash, rotten food, and dead cats. Her daughter desperately wants to help her, but she often blames everyone else around her. Everything is always everybody else's fault. The daughter is sick and tired of being hurt and accused by her and the show is her last attempt of getting help for her mother.
As I watched the episode, I noticed a rocking chair this old woman often goes sit in, either to escape the argument with her daughter or to escape from the dumpster the house has turned into. I instantly know that this rocking chair can be one of the things that aid her denial.
The rocking just keeps her deeper and deeper into the denial. She rocks and rocks so that the discomfort of it all will not get to her, almost like she soothe herself with the rocking, so that she can continue to face the horrible condition of the house and the arguring with her daughter.
I have observed how easy we can be in denial about facing the truth in us in meditation. The discomfort when sitting is the metorphor of how uncomfortable she must feel in that house. However, we fidget and try different things to avoid being in the face of whatever we are trying to avoid. So we keep our thoughts, memory, emotions, sensations going, so that we don't need to face the truth that come up.
In fact, what we should do in meditation is to stay very still and let whatever comes up come up. Just focus. Just notice. Be brave. Do no try to fidget and move, in order to feel comfortable.
Usually in the beginning, we let it go and let the body rock and sway for a while. Then it will stop after the body has adjusted to its own position. This is the time when it's much easier to be still. Then start to observe and notice.
This is how we can notice and connect with our deeper level of inner energy.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Chakras
Here is an very informative website about kundalini.
http://biologyofkundalini.com/
Inner energy will take us on the right track, by listening to our own truth. When we are true, inner energy will start to flow. Blockage will be felt--emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Clearing these enough, we will come to feel the urge of doing yoga and exploring our chakras.
When I first did chakras, the sudden surge of energy made me angry and reactive for a few days. Issues came up at a faster pace. I had to deal with them for a while. These clearing is essential.
But after that, things take off smoothly, both spiritually and in life.Each of the seven chakras influences a different level in us. The goal is the balance in all of them. The process of balancing is the process of spiritual development.
Some might say there really is nothing to do. But due to the accumulated bodily sensation, emotions, thoughts, memories, there are things to do. there bound to be a process, whether it's quick for some or long for others.
Yes, the tricky part is how not to make the whole journey a ego-boosting trip from all these advancement we experience. Inner energy and the right way of being often reinforce each other and keep taking us to the next level.
If there is an ego involved, there will be a limit. If there is no ego, there will be no limit.
Just my 2 cents.
http://biologyofkundalini.com/
Inner energy will take us on the right track, by listening to our own truth. When we are true, inner energy will start to flow. Blockage will be felt--emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Clearing these enough, we will come to feel the urge of doing yoga and exploring our chakras.
When I first did chakras, the sudden surge of energy made me angry and reactive for a few days. Issues came up at a faster pace. I had to deal with them for a while. These clearing is essential.
But after that, things take off smoothly, both spiritually and in life.Each of the seven chakras influences a different level in us. The goal is the balance in all of them. The process of balancing is the process of spiritual development.
Some might say there really is nothing to do. But due to the accumulated bodily sensation, emotions, thoughts, memories, there are things to do. there bound to be a process, whether it's quick for some or long for others.
Yes, the tricky part is how not to make the whole journey a ego-boosting trip from all these advancement we experience. Inner energy and the right way of being often reinforce each other and keep taking us to the next level.
If there is an ego involved, there will be a limit. If there is no ego, there will be no limit.
Just my 2 cents.
Monday, April 19, 2010
the ultimate connection with self--total honesty
Sit down. Relax the body. Breathe deeply so we can really feel. Surrender to whatever we are feeling currently. Surrender. Ask if pretending anything or resisting anything. Admit it.
Feel anything that comes up. Accept it.
In order to go deeper, we have to be totally honest. We need to be totally aware. Ask "Do you know about this?" "Is this totally true?"
Total honesty toward anything in our awareness is the last lap of road that takes us to our true self.
Feel anything that comes up. Accept it.
In order to go deeper, we have to be totally honest. We need to be totally aware. Ask "Do you know about this?" "Is this totally true?"
Total honesty toward anything in our awareness is the last lap of road that takes us to our true self.
Saturday, April 17, 2010
032710 floating up
3/27
This afternoon while napping, I semi woke up and became aware on the bed and all of a sudden felt the energy surge in the belly again. I felt lifting up, my legs were up higher than my body. I kept floating up in the air for about 10 seconds. At the same time, there is a force trying to pull me out of my room. I was still very sleepy.
Then I found myself in a place feeling like home. My deceased father was there. He came home and we were waiting for him to eat dinner. It was almost bedtime. We were gathering the pots and pans and get the food ready for him and everyone.
sually I dream about him when my energy flows inward, Many times he is somewhere in the background whenever I have OBEs or lucid dreams (or before/after).
This afternoon while napping, I semi woke up and became aware on the bed and all of a sudden felt the energy surge in the belly again. I felt lifting up, my legs were up higher than my body. I kept floating up in the air for about 10 seconds. At the same time, there is a force trying to pull me out of my room. I was still very sleepy.
Then I found myself in a place feeling like home. My deceased father was there. He came home and we were waiting for him to eat dinner. It was almost bedtime. We were gathering the pots and pans and get the food ready for him and everyone.
sually I dream about him when my energy flows inward, Many times he is somewhere in the background whenever I have OBEs or lucid dreams (or before/after).
just create and make it happen
I have been intensely doing meditation since 2003, when I had a profound transformation early that year. The great impact could clearly be felt inside and out of myself up until 2005. In 2006 and 2007, due to the sudden opportunities of doing 1 full time job and 2 part time jobs, there was a temporary interruption of the earnest practice and the tranquility.
2008 is the year when I started to share my experience on the web. At the same time, I picked up my regular meditation practice, plus the charkra work.
Life took off big time from there, spiritually and professionally.
Most of times during the day, I put 100% of myself in the work, sometimes even 120%, which is not even fair for myself.
During the weekend, I usually take a little time to unwind, going from being excited, intense, to being relaxed, quiet, and contemplative.
In the beginning of the process, I often realized how tired and sleepy I really am. The high stress during the week accumulates and doesn't have time to be released totally.
Familiar with this true place deep down, at least I know what the bottom line feels like and how far off I am away from it, and simply going back and forth each week.
After I totally unwind, I often feel surreal how wonderful everything is and how wonderful I feel. This is when I feel this urge to share, contribute, or connect.
It can be overwhelming to feel good. I would feel compelled to do something or look for something that matches how I feel inside. I try to look for books, good talks in meditation center, good movies about spirtuality.
Often times, my search comes back empty handed. Some books are good, but I know I have past those described in the books. Some movies are good, but they didn't exactly go into the point of where this can take us. Going to meditation center is good, but I found that what I share seem to be too far ahead...
I learned that there is nothing out there to look for, it is all in me. I need to create and make whatever I feel inside into reality. I need to bring it out into the world. There is nothing to search. There is no where to go. Just create. Just make it happen. Just do something.
I am in the driver's seat. I am holding the brushes in front of the easel. I am totally powerful and in control.
Look nowhere else. It's all up to me.
2008 is the year when I started to share my experience on the web. At the same time, I picked up my regular meditation practice, plus the charkra work.
Life took off big time from there, spiritually and professionally.
Most of times during the day, I put 100% of myself in the work, sometimes even 120%, which is not even fair for myself.
During the weekend, I usually take a little time to unwind, going from being excited, intense, to being relaxed, quiet, and contemplative.
In the beginning of the process, I often realized how tired and sleepy I really am. The high stress during the week accumulates and doesn't have time to be released totally.
Familiar with this true place deep down, at least I know what the bottom line feels like and how far off I am away from it, and simply going back and forth each week.
After I totally unwind, I often feel surreal how wonderful everything is and how wonderful I feel. This is when I feel this urge to share, contribute, or connect.
It can be overwhelming to feel good. I would feel compelled to do something or look for something that matches how I feel inside. I try to look for books, good talks in meditation center, good movies about spirtuality.
Often times, my search comes back empty handed. Some books are good, but I know I have past those described in the books. Some movies are good, but they didn't exactly go into the point of where this can take us. Going to meditation center is good, but I found that what I share seem to be too far ahead...
I learned that there is nothing out there to look for, it is all in me. I need to create and make whatever I feel inside into reality. I need to bring it out into the world. There is nothing to search. There is no where to go. Just create. Just make it happen. Just do something.
I am in the driver's seat. I am holding the brushes in front of the easel. I am totally powerful and in control.
Look nowhere else. It's all up to me.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
humble animals
While driving on the street to work today, I noticed the bags and bags of trash overflown out of the trash barrels in front of houses and stores.
It occurred to me the other day how much trash I am generating all the time. Sometimes I am surprised how fast I have to throw my trash out, while I am not even using much or buying much. But I constantly am bringing out trash. Where do they come from?
While walking in the woods, I often am amazed by how clean the woods is. All I see is leaves, twigs, dirts, all natural, all from nature, and going back to nature.
All animals in the nature are all so humble in the way they live and die. They come to this world, live, thrive, suffer, and die, following the natural cycle, bringing nothing to the world and bringing nothing with them when they leave.
Look around our human society. What a egocentric way of living. We somehow think that we can do whatever we want and we can change this world into the way we want it to be. We create so many stuff out of our litte heads to "solve problems" or to "make our lives better." We accumulate, resist, never satisfy, change, thinking that there is always somemthing wrong with where we are or who we are or what we do. We constantly want to be somewhere else better, going soomewhere else or creating something, or thinking something.
Why can't we just learn from the animals and the nature? Be humble. Surrender. All animals have come and go in all type of circumstances, why think that we should be any different or that we should always be comfortable, happy, healthy, strong, successful?
Tears come pouring out from my eyes.
Can't we be like a tree or the grass and be humble and flexible?
Only then can our true nature shines through.
It occurred to me the other day how much trash I am generating all the time. Sometimes I am surprised how fast I have to throw my trash out, while I am not even using much or buying much. But I constantly am bringing out trash. Where do they come from?
While walking in the woods, I often am amazed by how clean the woods is. All I see is leaves, twigs, dirts, all natural, all from nature, and going back to nature.
All animals in the nature are all so humble in the way they live and die. They come to this world, live, thrive, suffer, and die, following the natural cycle, bringing nothing to the world and bringing nothing with them when they leave.
Look around our human society. What a egocentric way of living. We somehow think that we can do whatever we want and we can change this world into the way we want it to be. We create so many stuff out of our litte heads to "solve problems" or to "make our lives better." We accumulate, resist, never satisfy, change, thinking that there is always somemthing wrong with where we are or who we are or what we do. We constantly want to be somewhere else better, going soomewhere else or creating something, or thinking something.
Why can't we just learn from the animals and the nature? Be humble. Surrender. All animals have come and go in all type of circumstances, why think that we should be any different or that we should always be comfortable, happy, healthy, strong, successful?
Tears come pouring out from my eyes.
Can't we be like a tree or the grass and be humble and flexible?
Only then can our true nature shines through.
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