A Miracle

Archangels, Kwan Yin, and Ascended Masters, thank you for being there for me and for the family involved. Thank you for bring forth the best outcome for everyone involved. This is truly a miracle.

Federal review team who has arrived and settled into their hotel had to pack up and leave when Hurricane Sandy closed down everything in the Northeast on October 29th. Things are now postponed.

Citywide programs breathed a sigh of relief, at least temporarily. My center has just went through another national re-accreditation visit in September and quickly got re-accredited. I was going to take it easy for a few days. But a call from the center one morning brought a bad news.

There had been an accident. Client was fine, but family was furious. Even though we provided great service to the family before and after the accident, all bad signs were pointing to worst case scenario.

I was talking to St. Michael and Kwan Yin that I really was praying for a miracle. I had done everything in my power, and this miracle can only be accomplished on the spiritual level.

This is the first time in my spiritual journey when I prayed to a specific angel for a situation, with no idea whether it would work or not. Client continues to be angry and unresponsive.

 After about two weeks of no response and everyone getting ready for the worst, all of a sudden I received a call that I had been praying for. The client wanted to come back. All the worries suddenly were over.

I could not go into details of the whole thing. I just really need to at least write this short entry about this miracle.

When we are very quiet and talk to these beings of light with clear intention, I now am sure that our messages are being received and can be answered. The prayer itself flowed easily as if I was being taught and influenced what to say, to be connected to my inner truth.The more I prayed, the more I felt the anger the family felt from this one more stress, and I truly wanted the best for them, as well as for everyone involved. The more I prayed, the more I wanted to pray, as if a connection had been established.

Message that asks for best outcome for everyone resonates with all levels.

Knowing is Healing

  At work, the one and a half month since mid September has been most intense. Three separate licening, national accreditation, and federal review are all happening in these 45 days this year. National re-accreditation of the center just took place last week. Center re-licensing is this week. The triennial review for the city is the whole week of the end of October.

  Before bed, I sit and see that the tense part of the body let go. On weekend, I still walk into the woods to go into myself. Once relaxing every part of the body, the last part to let go is the solar plexus, uptight and rigid. Once lowering the almost suspended stomach area, the swaying and shaking start, as the inner energy let loose. The rocking and flowing get the inner energy into every nook and cranny of the body. I am often amazed by this self healing, as the tired body gets a little sore for a while, and then becomes soothed, balanced, and re-energized.

  The same kind of soothing and healing also happen during and after a vividly meaningful dream or experience. They are often the type of dreams where it is full of light, as if directly underneath the sky full of warm and beaming light. The prominent feature is the bright, beautiful sky in the background, and in many of them, everything happens high in the sky. I and my partner (whoever they are) travel by flying, or flying in some kind of vehicle. One time I went high up taking an escalator. I went high up and then looking down, feeling very good and healed to be high in the sky. At the same time, I was strucked by the fact of doing everything high up in the sky.

  One of the frequest theme of these dreams is visiting a temple where I stayed for summer break when I was young. In the dream, the temple often become very grand, very bright, and even hanging high up in the sky, as I approach it.

  After these bright warm dreams in the sky, I often wake up with my body soothed and healed all over.

  Even before this unusual time, there were incidents where the workload and pressure take its toll. It can be too much, as if I am coming down with something. As I try to meditation, all the inner energy running around in the body like a storm going. I can see in front of my closed eyes the energy rushing around in chaos. Incredibly, this is also the time when it is the easiest to simply observe. So I would sit and watch with my eyes closed,letting the energy run itself. It is as if the energy knows what to do. As it runs and flows, I can feel that the body is re-balance, and re-adjust itself. The next day, I would be amazed that I am even better than usual, when the previous night I was supposedly coming down with something.

When knowing ourselves enough, the healing and balancing seems to become automatic.

Intelligent universal energy

I have been busy with trying my hands on a few different modalities--Angel healing, tree whispering, Tarot cards, and Reiki healing.

Having spent almost three years walking in the woods every chance I get, a shift in me tells me to start learning techniques to harness the energy. In the meantime, nature is still my temple.

I have only been using Tarot cards for a short while, asking questions about my family members and myself. The results have been amazingly accurate. The degree of belief brings out the accuracy of the results

Have just completed Reiki II Advanced, with Lourdes Gray, the widow of John Harvey Gray, one of the original 22 Reiki Master instructors taught by Mikao Ushi tradition. There are so many techniques and tools to use for healing and to improve one's own body, mind and soul.

Why all of a sudden this thirst and busy learning mode, so much different from the usual routine of walking in the beautiful nature, meditating, feeling the energy flow.

Energy seems to be an organic form of life itself. It cannot stay stale. Once developed and experienced, the need comes to flow, exchanged, or evolve further.

The realization came to me at almost the same time that divine beings, such as angels, ascend masters, Buddha, and Jesus, respond to prayers to help others, because they have to. Even when highly evolved, they still want their energy to be used and harnessed, not staying idle. Energy cannot stay stale. Sharing, growing, and serving are the only way to go.

For three years I was in this deep appreciation and intense awe by nature. While in the woods, I was often overwhelmed by thrill and joy. Once or twice in each walk, sobbing sensation would come up. So I would sob for a while, moved by everything in the surrounding.

I pondered about living in the woods, growing food, chopping woods to make fire, spending time with the sight and sound of nature. I pondered about moving right outside of the reservation.

I developed a love for leafy vegetable, especially organic, real vegetable. It came a time when eating is too slow. I started to do juicing, to get as much fruit and vegetable as quickly as possible.

I am fascinated by Dick Proenneke's story, who lived in Alaska wilderness for 30 years. I see myself as one of the transcendentalists, inspired by nature, feeling like very close to God through nature.

Then the Nonprofit Management certificate program study (sent by my agency) temporarily took my focus away, even though my routine didn't change for the past year. Now that the certificate program is over, the intensity of awe from nature has reduced, replaced by a thirst toward use of energy through methods and techniques.

In Reiki, this universal energy knows what we need and it will go to places where it is needed. It heals. It achieves outcome through intention. It knows no difference of time and space. It can be strengthened or called upon through symbols. In Tarot card, it taps into the quarent's energy and the unconscious mind. In meditation, the more you meditate, the more the inner energy runs it self and settles in the belly area. In lucid dreaming and OBE, energy takes you to other dimensions like magic carpet.

While doing all the modalities, I seem to be waiting for something, something that will take me to that place of awe and joy again, just like in 2003-2005, and in 2009-2011, a place where I know the energy will take me. Circumstances change, stages pass, but that place is always in me. Energy knows where my next stage is, because energy is intelligent.Energy is alive.

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A Spiritual Path with No Self Interest

Have just finished a nonprofit management certificate program representing my agency since last September. Have not been able to put much focus on my energy work. Having finished the certificate, I immediately went away to a Tree Whispering three day workshop to refresh.

During this past year, my routine of meditation, nature walk, and yoga continued. I also started to watch a lot of ghost encountering TV programs and Oprah's Soul Sunday program.

The consciousness of the world is shifting. Wherever I turn, signs of consciousness evolving are obvious. While among these large group of people coming for all sorts of spiritual workshops, I found myself no longer eager to share my journey. At the most, I mentioned the transformation but didn't go into details. If people are eager, they will find it soon enough. It's not about me, it's about themselves.

Once back home, I watched a documentary about Edgar Casey, the greatest psychic and prophet, whom has been unknown to me until now. By going into self induced hyponosis, he gave about 14000 readings over the course of his life, all of which contain accurate and striking details about prophet and major events of the future, including world war I and II. His statement included ancient civilizations or geographic sites that would not be found until long after his death. Pole shift of the earth that would bring great changes in 2012 was also among his prophecy. While reading others, he believed that he was reading into other's subconscious mind. Others believe that he was reading the Akashic records.

What struck me the most is that he did not charge for his readings, even though his family has always struggled to get by. His son remembers how his mother often did not know where their next meal would come from. He believed that everyone has psychic ability just like he did. Yet it will not work if it is used for self interest. If used for service, without any self interest, the greatest power will come through to help with the work. By accepting donations only, he saw his work as a service to people.

"No self interest," what a great way of living. I meditated on it and instantly felt great peace and sense of liberation. When concerning about self, it's worries, fears, and drama playing in the head. What if I could just put service ahead of myself. Stop contemplating making a living with spiritual work, because perhaps it is even a better idea not to charge anything for healing, helping, and serving others. If this is the way, then regular job is still necessary to sustain livelihood. I do not need much, just need to have enough to get by.

After going to sleep, I dreamed of my deceased father, whom I haven't seen in dreams since March. I would only dream about or see him in an unusually deepdream or very lucid state. In last night's dream, he has invited many Buddists to our Buddha Room on the third floor where the whole place was being elaborately arranged and decorated. My father was hosting a lunch for a holy monk who sat in a shrine meditating. I was there to help with the setting up. The whole thing feels very warm and fulfilling. My father proudly played the video clip that he took about my school serving children and families, the job he never knew I do now. The dream is full of bright light and vivid sentiment.

Perhaps this is my father's message for me that I am doing a great work that he feels proud of. I just need to make it special and connect it to my spiritual journey and practice. I just need to have the image of healing others with no charge. I do not need to worry about pursuing a different path in order to accomplish my work, because with no self interest, any spiritual path is a great path.

Woke up in another layer?

This experience starts, ends and feels different from a dream, I think I woke up in another layer of nonphysical bodies and was in a different reality. My deceased father was there. He is often with me or around me in an OBE experience. I took a train (for me, it's the embodiment of an energy flow that takes me along) to go somewhere. I became aware of the nonphysical body and was able to fly a bit and explored a bit.

I woke up in the early morning and found that my bed has turned into a twin size bed, not the queen size bed I have. I sat up and looked around, feeling very strange and eerie. My cat was next to me. My bedroom door that's usually almost closed was now open. I got out of my room feeling alarmed. I looked over to the bathroom side. A room appeared in the location where the mirror is. It is now a bedroom, and my deceased father was in it. I told my father my apprehension. He didn't really say anything.

I went back to sleep but heard that there were knocking on the doors of the neighbors, one door at a time. I wondered who and thought to myself "Poor thing, this person must be scared to be out there that early knocking on doors."

Then I went to a train station to take a train. Since it's still early, I walked around a bit and returned to the station to catch the train. My ticket says the boarding time. I looked at the display board. I only had 2 minutes to get down all the way to B5, which I understood as 5 story down. As I ran down toward the platform, I thought that I didn';t bring a book to read on the upcoming long ride.

Then I walked around and explored a neighborhood, I sensed a guy watching me. He is a scam but people are not alert. I sensed that he did something to people's car. I walked through this narrow pathway with three other women to avoid him.

I continued to walk. There was no one around at this part and it was still early and dark. All of a sudden, the familiar feeling of energy boost came over me and I remembered that I could fly. I was excited every time this realization came over me. I jumped up into the air and soared higher and higher with a lot of energy. I flew around overlooking all the buildings and neighborhoods. Then I started to lose height. I came down and saw a woman and a man went toward a hotel. They were like mother and son. They had a good walk and were contented to go back to the hotel.

Then my awareness came back to my bed. Someone told me that a yellowbook was next to my building outside and that probably is why I was woken up. I said no, that was not it.

Now is Forever

Whatever we do, it can only be temporary. We cannot do something forever.

Go deep inside of ourselves and stay there. It will become apparent to us that "this" is already perfect. We do not need to do anything at all.

"To be away from here" tires us out. "To be away from here" tenses us up. Do nothing. Relax. So that we can go on forever.

Get there now, whatever you want to be. Do not wait until later,for the next moment will be the same as this moment. When we ignore here and now and look to the next moment, our "being" is broken. Our well being is broken. We are whole only when we are fully here and now. This is true at this moment. This is true forever.

I feel this. I see this. I am this. I know this. Now and forever. Now is forever.

I am, I notice, I know, every moement, every day

Use all senses, not just the thinking mind, and focus on everything around

This has baffled me for a while. During the weekend,I can get to this place of zero and peace. But before going back to the challenging week, I found myself dreading return to it. Why? I thought I am spiritual enough to face anything. Why the dread and reluctance?

Then it dawn on me that I am not seeing the whole picture. During the week, I only focus on a few things that I have to do. I miss many other things in the background. I am not seeing the whole truth. There are probably only a few items I am paying attention to or maybe I am so busy with looking to the future event or past events, while I ignore ten other things happening right now around me.

Yes, there is always fear for any potential accidents, conflicts, people trying to undermine me, changes in dynamics.....But,do you see that this is not the only thing that's is. What happens to the worldly excitement and joy of becoming the boss of the place, driving in to work wth my own parking space, the warm and fuzzy feelings of spirituality, the endless possibility of time that I am in control, the old habit of going to the mall after work to walk around seeing things like a child in the wonderland, the amazement of how my story touched people online.....

When things get into a habitual routine mode, we start to lose our attention about it. We start to focus on whatever we choose to focus on, and lose the sense of the whole picture. Very quickly, we start to only focus on fearful things or regretful things that our mind chooses for us. We start to lose the joy and awe.


When looking up to a big slope coming up, I think to myself "What a big slope," but when walking on it step by step and getting into the curve, I think to myself again "What slope?"

When we go into any situation with total attention to the second and the minute, it really gets broken down to bits and pieces of wonder and truth.

What if we use all of our senses about the whole thing every single time, to know the whole truth, to notice everything, to explore whatever is happening....

a moment in non-truth is a moment wasted

Have been focusing on school work-- in an intensive certificate program every friday on nonprofit management. Have also just organized and hosted a big new year event with legislators, community partners, client families and children. It quite a success.

During this busy time, my mind is constantly occupied--- assignment due, one more detail to make the event more perfect, one more reminder for the staff, one more look at the project before it being turned in....in between, I found myself watch a lot more tv--- to occupy myself until the next busy moment. I put up with myself being pretentious, defensive, and stressed. This is totally not what I would conduct daily routines. The certificate program ends in June. At work, it is as busy as ever.

I seem to be waiting for it to end in June, so that I will be totally free again. For now, I have been just constantly looking outwards.

I have found similar waiting in meditation as well--sitting a mediocre session, because there is always next time, tomorrow. I will just be busy with some of my thoughts for now. I will just sit a mediocre session for now.

Once I say "I know that place," my whole body will just take me there. However, it takes willingness and truthfulness--willing to stop the additive mind chattering and emotional high and low, willing to be in that place of stepping back and non-participating. There is a moment of defence and denial. And then slowly, truth shines through. Without willingness and truthfulness,it will be back and forth battles.

And then, it hits me--the next time will just be like this time, tomorrow will just be like today...Why not get to it this time? Why not get to it at this moment? What's wrong with this moment?

This self inquiry breaks through the layers and the truth always shines right through. A moment in non-truth is a moment wasted. Truth can be had right now, no waiting is required. You always know when you are with the truth--your body knows, and you know.

A seagull's death

After lunch on the Monday after the New Year, I was driving to go for a walk when I saw a seagull lying near the side of the street. Its wings were both in a spreading position, yet it appeared not moving at all.

I was looking forward to a good walk in the nature, but I just could not leave it on the road whether it is dead or half dead.

Having parkd the car a few yards further down, I started to think very hard about what things I would use to pick up and transport the bird. I happened to have a bag of grocery from Whole Food. I quickly took out the few items and decided to use the bag.

I walked toward the bird to see what shape it was in. What a magnificent bird--large, snow white feather, web feet..except now it is lifeless, both wings half stretching out in the air, feather mingled. There was a little blood underneath the body, still wet. Apparently whatever accident happened, it happened just minutes earlier.

My heart sank at such a sight and the thought of a violent event just minutes ago. A little food was scattered next to it. There were still some on the beak of the bird. What is most disturbing is seeing the tire mark on the belly of the bird, gray mark on the snow white feather. It was sickening...

I used tissue paper to pick up the bird and moved it to the sidewalk. I called a few animal hospitals to see if they are open on this Money holidy. Finally I decided that I needed to drive the bird to Angell Hospital in Jamaica Plain.

The bird was in the bag riding with me in the car. I felt humbled to be carrying a wild creature in my car. Although it looked 99% dead, I just couldn't let it to be on the street. It needs to go to a safe place, dead or alive.

I cried for a while in the car, sadden by the fact that some drivers can just run their cars over a living creature.

What is the meaning of such a mismatching phenomenon--a creature trying to sustain its survival by salvaging the food on the street, and a human being carelessly running it over.

I arrived at the animal hospital to show them the bird. They brought it into a room. After a few minutes, they told me it was dead.

I told myself, there is food chain in this world, animals live by eating other animals. Life is as magnificent as its beautiful and energetic form. Life also can be as meager as a bite of food for others, or in this case, a meaningless existence that belongs to under the wheel, according to some drivers

Maybe the bird doesn't even know this ugly truth. He left the world before he even learned this ugliness.

Willingness to Let the Truth Be

Anxious? Nervous? Dreading? Stressed? Afraid?

Coming to the end of a long weekend or vacation, where is this heading year after year, things don't seem to go as well as we want to, feeling trapped......

This is all because we are not staying with our truth.

If we are with the truth, there would be no doubt, suffering, anxiety, dread, fear, frustration...There will be no questions.

With truth, there is only willingness,trust, courage, compassion, openness, to face whatever is coming.

Willingness to face whatever is coming. Willingness to go through it. Trust that you will know what to do. You will then be able to focus and enjoy this here and now

Knowing that there are others who are in even worse desperation

Be compassionate about this moment like we would to a person or a living being. Do not ignore this moment.

Stay with the truth. Do not make things up. Do not bother with imaginations. We can only be with the truth, whatever is in front of us.

Be humble. Be small. Be like my cat--alive all his life with only a few people know his existence, yet he is totally magnificent.

What if there is no me? What if I don't do anything? What if I just observe the world go by?

What if I just let the truth be......