I really like this part about Buddhist Lama sobbing. Yes, as long as we have this body, we are going to have needs. We will get hungry, sleepy. When we are tired, we will be less patient. We definitely are still subject to our bodily needs.
Sobbing means there are still things about this friend's passing this Buddhist Lama need to process or release. These are old feeling and emotions that have accumulated over time. The more we process and release, the less it has effect on us.
Like you said, after awakening, we just need to deal with these needs, wants, emotions, sensation with a clear consciousness and compassion.The difference is this time around, when we get our needs met, we also are more conscious about our action and intent, not to cause even more complex emotions or struggle within ourselves.
For example, we will not take advantage of others to get our needs met, becausee doing that we be against of who we really are and will only lead to even more conflicts within ourselves, which we know better not to do.
So yes, there are still needs and wants after awakening, but with more and more process and release, they get less and simplier over time, because of conscious choices and decisions we make while we process and release them.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Life reviewing
I have found myself looking back to my life so far quite often, ever since the spiritual path first time.
Often when I look at all the people, all the stories, all the places and things, the feeling that comes to me is awe, amazement, fascination, and then gratitude and love.
The journey has certainly not been all pretty and fun, or a walk in the garden. Besides all the triumph, beauty, enjoyment, there were also failure, heartbreak, hardship, pain, illness...
However, up to this point when I look back, all just turn into a totality of warmth, wonder, and awe.
How did I get to this point? Do I deserve this? Why do I get to feel this way?
I realize all the tiny decisions I have made in every single moment in my life have brought me to this point, one thing leading to the next, one after the other. My life has been heading to a direction of good, with a snow ball effect.
Maybe it's this strong inner energy, good energy, that all the good things in life get to manifest. Something inner is connecting with the external world and is making all come together. Something is making the wonders.
Often when I look at all the people, all the stories, all the places and things, the feeling that comes to me is awe, amazement, fascination, and then gratitude and love.
The journey has certainly not been all pretty and fun, or a walk in the garden. Besides all the triumph, beauty, enjoyment, there were also failure, heartbreak, hardship, pain, illness...
However, up to this point when I look back, all just turn into a totality of warmth, wonder, and awe.
How did I get to this point? Do I deserve this? Why do I get to feel this way?
I realize all the tiny decisions I have made in every single moment in my life have brought me to this point, one thing leading to the next, one after the other. My life has been heading to a direction of good, with a snow ball effect.
Maybe it's this strong inner energy, good energy, that all the good things in life get to manifest. Something inner is connecting with the external world and is making all come together. Something is making the wonders.
old post--angel in the crown
This post is from May, 2009
Does anyone know what it means to have an angel in my crown chakra in the aura image? I went to take a aura photo and there is something like a flowery opening on my crown. The person told me that's an angel! I asked if it is true that everyone has the angel in their crown there. She said definitely not or not visible in the photo. ???
My first reaction when I saw the photo I thought maybe that's the opening of the crown. But that psychic showed me another photo she took on another person earlier that day in that psychic fair. This person not only has the flowery thing on her crown, she also has what looks like a pair of wing sticking out from her back, at least that's what that psychic told me.She said I am not like her yet, but she said I am still relatively young and getting there, and that person has done so much work in this life time.So it really sounds like the presence of an angel, not just the opening of the crown?? ??? ???Maybe it's our guardian angels that everyone has!.... :sun: It's exciting to know that we all of these angels with us. We just need to work on having more clear connection with them! I think I can see the wings shaping in my photo too. Hope they are forming.
I emailed that psychic that did my aura photo to ask what it means to have angel in the crown. She said it usually means that there is the angelic energy with the person, and that the person is loved and protected by this angel. Sometimes the energy also comes with a message.It is so good to see an angel with us in the photo :sun:
Does anyone know what it means to have an angel in my crown chakra in the aura image? I went to take a aura photo and there is something like a flowery opening on my crown. The person told me that's an angel! I asked if it is true that everyone has the angel in their crown there. She said definitely not or not visible in the photo. ???
My first reaction when I saw the photo I thought maybe that's the opening of the crown. But that psychic showed me another photo she took on another person earlier that day in that psychic fair. This person not only has the flowery thing on her crown, she also has what looks like a pair of wing sticking out from her back, at least that's what that psychic told me.She said I am not like her yet, but she said I am still relatively young and getting there, and that person has done so much work in this life time.So it really sounds like the presence of an angel, not just the opening of the crown?? ??? ???Maybe it's our guardian angels that everyone has!.... :sun: It's exciting to know that we all of these angels with us. We just need to work on having more clear connection with them! I think I can see the wings shaping in my photo too. Hope they are forming.
I emailed that psychic that did my aura photo to ask what it means to have angel in the crown. She said it usually means that there is the angelic energy with the person, and that the person is loved and protected by this angel. Sometimes the energy also comes with a message.It is so good to see an angel with us in the photo :sun:
Old post--What's the meaning of a violent death
This post is from one year ago. I really wanted to save this post.
Today on the way to a meeting, I head a popping sound and looked over. I saw a few seagulls going for a pile of food left in the middle of the street and one of them got ran over by a car.
When I approached it, I saw his gut hanging out.The bird was still quite alive. I was in a hurry to the meeting, but I found myself couldn't walk away further. I just had to stay with the seagull. My heart was crying and felt really sad. A guy was across the street, looking at the bird as well. I walked up to him and said we should call animal shelter to pick up the bird. He said he just did. I said do you have a plastic bag, maybe we can move him out of the street so he would not be ran over again. He went in to a YMCA building to look for a bag, while I stood on the street to guard the bird.
The bird was still alive, but I can see that he was struggling. After about five minutes, I saw him painfully turned his neck around a few times and waved his wings a few times and stopped moving. The guy came out with a bag but I said the bird passed out. The bag is too small for the bird. Another five minutes later, another guy put out a trash can next to the bird, so cars would not run him over again. Then a publicwork guy came to pick up his body. We told him we already called the animal shelter. The guy said they will call public work anyway when they pick it up. So the bird went into the trash truck.
I was just traumatized, seeing the last moment of this magnificent bird. I just couldn't contend myself. Why does death have to be so painful and crude? I can't stand anything going through that type of pain and horror. I wish I could do something to change what happened to that bird. But nobody can! All I could do is to stand there to be with that bird.
God probably want death to be that way sometimes so that it inspire compassion in people. What else can I tell myself so that I won't be so sad. I know that this will affect me very much for a while. I am traumatized!! Could someone please help?
Today on the way to a meeting, I head a popping sound and looked over. I saw a few seagulls going for a pile of food left in the middle of the street and one of them got ran over by a car.
When I approached it, I saw his gut hanging out.The bird was still quite alive. I was in a hurry to the meeting, but I found myself couldn't walk away further. I just had to stay with the seagull. My heart was crying and felt really sad. A guy was across the street, looking at the bird as well. I walked up to him and said we should call animal shelter to pick up the bird. He said he just did. I said do you have a plastic bag, maybe we can move him out of the street so he would not be ran over again. He went in to a YMCA building to look for a bag, while I stood on the street to guard the bird.
The bird was still alive, but I can see that he was struggling. After about five minutes, I saw him painfully turned his neck around a few times and waved his wings a few times and stopped moving. The guy came out with a bag but I said the bird passed out. The bag is too small for the bird. Another five minutes later, another guy put out a trash can next to the bird, so cars would not run him over again. Then a publicwork guy came to pick up his body. We told him we already called the animal shelter. The guy said they will call public work anyway when they pick it up. So the bird went into the trash truck.
I was just traumatized, seeing the last moment of this magnificent bird. I just couldn't contend myself. Why does death have to be so painful and crude? I can't stand anything going through that type of pain and horror. I wish I could do something to change what happened to that bird. But nobody can! All I could do is to stand there to be with that bird.
God probably want death to be that way sometimes so that it inspire compassion in people. What else can I tell myself so that I won't be so sad. I know that this will affect me very much for a while. I am traumatized!! Could someone please help?
Monday, January 25, 2010
Inner self and OBE--distinctions and similarities
I have thought about the distinction between Eckhart Tolle's path and the OBE path. My experiences are as following:
There is a split point where the two path separates.
The similarity is that you need inner energy to achieve either paths. You need to decided which route to go down to, using the energy you come up with.
The fastest route to get into it, whether it's innerself, or OBE, is to immediately make yourself into two parts, or two "I". Don't think about what they are, just feel them. But one of them will be the observer.
Stay that way and sustain it. It takes a while to settle down, but you will settle down to that stillness.
In Eckhart's path, once we are in the stillness, in order to sustain it, we need to process many layers of our sensations and emotions, which includes alot of deep thoughts and existances. The results of such process is the true forgiveness and self love and universal love.
In OBE attempt, this observing part of "I" will grow stronger and into trance, but you need to stay very still, as if your another part of "I" disappear. I have found that then I might past out for a few seconds or a few minutes, then another level of consciousness appears. In OBE, it's not only physical. The consciousness level is another key factor. Once we get into OBE or astral realm, we will encounter scenes and beings that play out in the realm which responds to our thoughts and emotions. In this path, we process our existance in a movie like setting and we are the characters. There will be learning expereinces along the way. Beings and guides will appear to guide us. The end result will also be spiritual growth and self love and universal love.
I have found that the OBE and lucid dreaming certainly contribute to my confidence and well being in real life as well. These experiences certainly make me more open minded, aware, sensitive, observant, connected, and strong on my spiritual growth. I know myself and love myself even more.
There is a split point where the two path separates.
The similarity is that you need inner energy to achieve either paths. You need to decided which route to go down to, using the energy you come up with.
The fastest route to get into it, whether it's innerself, or OBE, is to immediately make yourself into two parts, or two "I". Don't think about what they are, just feel them. But one of them will be the observer.
Stay that way and sustain it. It takes a while to settle down, but you will settle down to that stillness.
In Eckhart's path, once we are in the stillness, in order to sustain it, we need to process many layers of our sensations and emotions, which includes alot of deep thoughts and existances. The results of such process is the true forgiveness and self love and universal love.
In OBE attempt, this observing part of "I" will grow stronger and into trance, but you need to stay very still, as if your another part of "I" disappear. I have found that then I might past out for a few seconds or a few minutes, then another level of consciousness appears. In OBE, it's not only physical. The consciousness level is another key factor. Once we get into OBE or astral realm, we will encounter scenes and beings that play out in the realm which responds to our thoughts and emotions. In this path, we process our existance in a movie like setting and we are the characters. There will be learning expereinces along the way. Beings and guides will appear to guide us. The end result will also be spiritual growth and self love and universal love.
I have found that the OBE and lucid dreaming certainly contribute to my confidence and well being in real life as well. These experiences certainly make me more open minded, aware, sensitive, observant, connected, and strong on my spiritual growth. I know myself and love myself even more.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
The steps to weeping
Today during yoga, I noticed that the sensation to weep came over me either when I became totally relaxed, to the extent where I didn't know I can be that relaxed, or when I turn to letting go of the tension in my body and become forgiving and loving to my body and myself.
The beautiful feeling brings me to tears
Then I would feel as if an engine starts in my body and I start to weep, shaking and pushing from inside.
Tears come pouring out.
The beautiful feeling brings me to tears
Then I would feel as if an engine starts in my body and I start to weep, shaking and pushing from inside.
Tears come pouring out.
01/24/10 false awakening
1/24/10
This late afternoon during nap, I had a false awakening.
I became aware of myself lying on the bed, but still felt very sleepy. A woman came to the bedside to talk to me. She felt like my grandma (deceased) or relative. I don't remember what she said. We chatted quite a bit and she wanted me to go somewhere or do something. Then she left.
I continued to lay in bed and very aware of how I felt in my body. The comforter felt very comfortable. I was thinking that later I was going to watch Nature on PBS, but it never occurred to me that I was supposed to do yoga which I usually do in late afternoon.
When I woke up, I was surprised to find the real surrounding of the room, because the room I was in was apparently different, but felt very familiar like another home. The comforter was also different.
This late afternoon during nap, I had a false awakening.
I became aware of myself lying on the bed, but still felt very sleepy. A woman came to the bedside to talk to me. She felt like my grandma (deceased) or relative. I don't remember what she said. We chatted quite a bit and she wanted me to go somewhere or do something. Then she left.
I continued to lay in bed and very aware of how I felt in my body. The comforter felt very comfortable. I was thinking that later I was going to watch Nature on PBS, but it never occurred to me that I was supposed to do yoga which I usually do in late afternoon.
When I woke up, I was surprised to find the real surrounding of the room, because the room I was in was apparently different, but felt very familiar like another home. The comforter was also different.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
romantic love toward self--our original state or peak experience?
I was busy at work organizing a resource fair and now it just finished. So I start to unwind a bit during the long weekend.
Usually after unwinding bit, the familiar calm and peace come back, the original state deep down starts to surface.
It feels like romantic love. Everything feels great and beautiful, only it's toward myself and anything about myself. I admire myself. I silently call my own name as if calling a lover. I smile at myself internally. In dreams, everyone admires me and I know I am different. In reality, people also notice.
Some call it peak experience. I see it as our original state.
Although I have been in that place time and time again and know what it is like, I can still lose the connection with it when work gets busy.
I found that needs and wants cause me to look to the future, look to things that happened and then go back and forth, creating a blocking to the connection with my inner self. Impluses to act and mind plotting and chatering are in the way of the connection.
When inner self is not present, the ego take over and operates on needs and wants, in orer to play a role that the mind wants it to be.
"This emotional life" on PBS is a lump sum of everything emotional well being. One thing mentioned in that is that zebra doesn't stay stressed after being chased by a lion. Once escaping its death, there is some action to come out of a freeze response, and its stress hormone goes back to normal again. In human, sometimes we stay stressed even after the stressor no longer exists but don't know how to turn it off. This is the cause of stress and-- physical illness.
SO why do we have needs and wants? After awakening, is there needs and wants?
My experience is that when we are strongly connected with our inner energy, the strength is so strong that we don't feel lacking. Anything just comes off as physical sensation and nothing more.
If we are hungry, we feed ourselves with some food. If we are tired, we rest. Just like what a zebra would do. If someone else rub our food, we protest and stand up for ourselves.
It is the interpretation toward these sensation that differentiate us from zebra. Once everything is over, we still keep the whole thing in our head and play it over and over, or to plot our next step. The mind activity not only takes our emotions on a roller coaster ride, it also stirs up phyiscal sensation and stress response. Sometimes it doesn't get turned off for days.
That's why the saying "Be careful of what we wish for." When finding us too attached to a certain target, ask why. Whether it's the credit of the job well done, a person, or even the calm inside. Why do I need it?
Feel how it feels like as if we don't have it.
Even getting too attached to the calm inside can takes us away from it, because once we get busy, we resent the fact that we are not in that calm state.
How does this thing matter when I am on my death bed? The moment we leave this world, there is nothing we can take away with us. We come alone and we leave alone.
But in fact, this calm can follow us if we are aware of it. This is the only thing that comes with us and will follow us when we leave.
Usually after unwinding bit, the familiar calm and peace come back, the original state deep down starts to surface.
It feels like romantic love. Everything feels great and beautiful, only it's toward myself and anything about myself. I admire myself. I silently call my own name as if calling a lover. I smile at myself internally. In dreams, everyone admires me and I know I am different. In reality, people also notice.
Some call it peak experience. I see it as our original state.
Although I have been in that place time and time again and know what it is like, I can still lose the connection with it when work gets busy.
I found that needs and wants cause me to look to the future, look to things that happened and then go back and forth, creating a blocking to the connection with my inner self. Impluses to act and mind plotting and chatering are in the way of the connection.
When inner self is not present, the ego take over and operates on needs and wants, in orer to play a role that the mind wants it to be.
"This emotional life" on PBS is a lump sum of everything emotional well being. One thing mentioned in that is that zebra doesn't stay stressed after being chased by a lion. Once escaping its death, there is some action to come out of a freeze response, and its stress hormone goes back to normal again. In human, sometimes we stay stressed even after the stressor no longer exists but don't know how to turn it off. This is the cause of stress and-- physical illness.
SO why do we have needs and wants? After awakening, is there needs and wants?
My experience is that when we are strongly connected with our inner energy, the strength is so strong that we don't feel lacking. Anything just comes off as physical sensation and nothing more.
If we are hungry, we feed ourselves with some food. If we are tired, we rest. Just like what a zebra would do. If someone else rub our food, we protest and stand up for ourselves.
It is the interpretation toward these sensation that differentiate us from zebra. Once everything is over, we still keep the whole thing in our head and play it over and over, or to plot our next step. The mind activity not only takes our emotions on a roller coaster ride, it also stirs up phyiscal sensation and stress response. Sometimes it doesn't get turned off for days.
That's why the saying "Be careful of what we wish for." When finding us too attached to a certain target, ask why. Whether it's the credit of the job well done, a person, or even the calm inside. Why do I need it?
Feel how it feels like as if we don't have it.
Even getting too attached to the calm inside can takes us away from it, because once we get busy, we resent the fact that we are not in that calm state.
How does this thing matter when I am on my death bed? The moment we leave this world, there is nothing we can take away with us. We come alone and we leave alone.
But in fact, this calm can follow us if we are aware of it. This is the only thing that comes with us and will follow us when we leave.
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