Forgiving the betrayal

  

  A friend of mine recently suffered a loss of relationship with her boyfriend, who she thought to be her soulmate. It came as a total surprise to her. She was head over heel in love. Even when a psychic told her that he will leave her, she took it as a sign that the psychic is not a great one, unable to see the deep soulmate connection they had. My friend has thought that her boyfriend is even more spiritually advanced than she is.

I did not sense great spiritual energy from that guy. I did not tell my friend, knowing that she would not have believed it anyway.

  The guy simply moved and relocated to another part of the country, without telling her. She had to find that out from social media. She thought they were moving in together soon, as the guy had moved some of his things into her place.

  Naturally I will need to say something to help her recover from this sad development, which brings me back to 11 years ago when the same thing happened to me. My boyfriend at the time simply moved in with the other girl, when I was going to bring him some items as he was moving into a new house.

I was hurt so badly that the pain led me to search my soul to the core. Here is the link to the post:

Waking up from my own story

The Turning Point

  I remember that the huge turning point is the realization that it really is not his fault. It is only from my point of view that he is at fault. Actually he is entitled to his own free will and his choice. Yes, he should not hurt anyone with that type of action—betraying me whom he knows would be hurt badly if he makes that choice of action. But everyone is free to make his/her choice and then takes the consequence of the action.

    The whole five year of this relationship was full of struggles and challenges. It was great at times but hellish at other times. I tried and tried, thinking that it would get better if I would try a little more. It's these activities on each level of mind, emotion, and soul that entangle every inch of my being into the mess. The loss of the relationship with him would be my worst nightmare that I would not know what to do or how to live with.

  Finally, the day came when the nightmare became reality. 

  While collapsed on the floor crying for days in disbelief and agony, it finally occurred to me that it is not his fault, and that he really is entitled to his own choice and his free will. Yes, it's so sad that he didn't pick me, but I have tried everything and done everything I can. At that point, that is the outcome and I can cry in every fiber of my being over that loss, or I can let it go and look toward the whole new world of freedom. 

   Even though the negativity still stuck to me like a bad disease, the brief thought/imagination of forgiveness started to feel liberating and healing. The willingness to dig deep to find it in me to forgive is the turning point.   

Then it is the months long slow and painful process of peeling off the layer and layer of attachment and entanglement. The key is to be persistent and never look back. In the process of complete peeling off and release, many other unrelated junks also go into the drain.  

  However, it was very scary to face the reality by myself. I was so busy dealing with him that I never deal with a reality without him in it. The loneliness, fear and anxiety , plus the anger, shame, sadness, regrets, and despair are simply overwhelming. I remember that my body ached and my heart was bleeding. Every inch of my being is full of pain and suffering, until the great transformation after period of very intense and deep meditation and spiritual transformation. 

     It is 11 years later, and it feels like a different lifetime. I become totally independent and clear. The spiritual practices and maturity enable me to be balanced, self sufficient, responsible for my own actions, and see the world with a deep understanding and realization. This compassionate perception of seeing everyone just like myself, knowing where they are from, really is the key to total liberation and freedom--free of negativity, free of karma, free of drama, and free of suffering.