Old post--What's the meaning of a violent death

This post is from one year ago. I really wanted to save this post.

Today on the way to a meeting, I head a popping sound and looked over. I saw a few seagulls going for a pile of food left in the middle of the street and one of them got ran over by a car.

When I approached it, I saw his gut hanging out.The bird was still quite alive. I was in a hurry to the meeting, but I found myself couldn't walk away further. I just had to stay with the seagull. My heart was crying and felt really sad. A guy was across the street, looking at the bird as well. I walked up to him and said we should call animal shelter to pick up the bird. He said he just did. I said do you have a plastic bag, maybe we can move him out of the street so he would not be ran over again. He went in to a YMCA building to look for a bag, while I stood on the street to guard the bird.

The bird was still alive, but I can see that he was struggling. After about five minutes, I saw him painfully turned his neck around a few times and waved his wings a few times and stopped moving. The guy came out with a bag but I said the bird passed out. The bag is too small for the bird. Another five minutes later, another guy put out a trash can next to the bird, so cars would not run him over again. Then a publicwork guy came to pick up his body. We told him we already called the animal shelter. The guy said they will call public work anyway when they pick it up. So the bird went into the trash truck.

I was just traumatized, seeing the last moment of this magnificent bird. I just couldn't contend myself. Why does death have to be so painful and crude? I can't stand anything going through that type of pain and horror. I wish I could do something to change what happened to that bird. But nobody can! All I could do is to stand there to be with that bird.

God probably want death to be that way sometimes so that it inspire compassion in people. What else can I tell myself so that I won't be so sad. I know that this will affect me very much for a while. I am traumatized!! Could someone please help?