While driving on the street to work today, I noticed the bags and bags of trash overflown out of the trash barrels in front of houses and stores.
It occurred to me the other day how much trash I am generating all the time. Sometimes I am surprised how fast I have to throw my trash out, while I am not even using much or buying much. But I constantly am bringing out trash. Where do they come from?
While walking in the woods, I often am amazed by how clean the woods is. All I see is leaves, twigs, dirts, all natural, all from nature, and going back to nature.
All animals in the nature are all so humble in the way they live and die. They come to this world, live, thrive, suffer, and die, following the natural cycle, bringing nothing to the world and bringing nothing with them when they leave.
Look around our human society. What a egocentric way of living. We somehow think that we can do whatever we want and we can change this world into the way we want it to be. We create so many stuff out of our litte heads to "solve problems" or to "make our lives better." We accumulate, resist, never satisfy, change, thinking that there is always somemthing wrong with where we are or who we are or what we do. We constantly want to be somewhere else better, going soomewhere else or creating something, or thinking something.
Why can't we just learn from the animals and the nature? Be humble. Surrender. All animals have come and go in all type of circumstances, why think that we should be any different or that we should always be comfortable, happy, healthy, strong, successful?
Tears come pouring out from my eyes.
Can't we be like a tree or the grass and be humble and flexible?
Only then can our true nature shines through.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
If we don't even notice we are breathing, what else are we missing?
If we don't even notice we are breathing, what else are we missing?
Maybe our spiritual guide. Maybe a spirit trying to make contact. Maybe the Truth
Because the quality of our attention is only 30%
Once we pay full attention, we see the whole thing around us, that is and have always been here.
Maybe our spiritual guide. Maybe a spirit trying to make contact. Maybe the Truth
Because the quality of our attention is only 30%
Once we pay full attention, we see the whole thing around us, that is and have always been here.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
032410 lucid dreaming
032410 This is a lucid dreaming last night
I was walking on the street and was passing by a few people boarding a bus. A guy and a woman was about to step on the bus when the woman’s high heel was stuck in the hole in a cover of a man hole. So the guy pulled the woman’s arm trying to get her out, while I pulled her other arm. The helping out seemed to get the energy in my body flowing.
Then the bus drove off a little further down, but someone else was still trying to catch the bus, so now the bus is in my way of where I was heading. So I was standing there waiting the bus to leave.
After the bus drove off, a totally different view appeared. A long road was now in front of me, stretching as far as I can see, full of white sand on it. So now I stood on the top of the slope, looking down this road. All of a sudden, a surge of energy developed in my body and I knew I want to fly.
So I ran very quickly down the road and then took off like a soaring superwoman. I was so excited and felt so strong with the surge of energy in me, knowing fully that I had just become lucid in the dream. Now I was in control. Two women walking on the road looked back at me soaring. I noticed their eyes glaring like cats at night. I soared over them and enjoyed the freedom and power.
I kept thinking where to go and at the same time scanned the landscape. I flew over a valley with a big empty river bad and mountain around it. I remember to look at my hand. It’s solid. It means that this is a lucid dream, not an OBE.
I wanted to go to my grandma’s farm. Right away, my grandma’s farm appeared in front of me. I didn’t see anyone in there. I flew around the house, the front yard, back yard, and neighborhood. It was after rain and everything looked so fresh, and sharp in colors. I miss this place.
As I was leaving the farm, I kept thinking where else I wanted to go. I kept flying and then started to feel sluggish and knew that I was waking up.
I woke up for about an hour and then went back to sleep again. This time, I was in a building with a group of people. Some people there were expecting me and also knew what I was lacking and was accommodating me and providing me with things I need. Then I went into this big library where everyone was free to express whatever creativity and emotions they have and everyone is expressing their inner world in the walkway of the library. Something happened here, but I don’t remember.
I was walking on the street and was passing by a few people boarding a bus. A guy and a woman was about to step on the bus when the woman’s high heel was stuck in the hole in a cover of a man hole. So the guy pulled the woman’s arm trying to get her out, while I pulled her other arm. The helping out seemed to get the energy in my body flowing.
Then the bus drove off a little further down, but someone else was still trying to catch the bus, so now the bus is in my way of where I was heading. So I was standing there waiting the bus to leave.
After the bus drove off, a totally different view appeared. A long road was now in front of me, stretching as far as I can see, full of white sand on it. So now I stood on the top of the slope, looking down this road. All of a sudden, a surge of energy developed in my body and I knew I want to fly.
So I ran very quickly down the road and then took off like a soaring superwoman. I was so excited and felt so strong with the surge of energy in me, knowing fully that I had just become lucid in the dream. Now I was in control. Two women walking on the road looked back at me soaring. I noticed their eyes glaring like cats at night. I soared over them and enjoyed the freedom and power.
I kept thinking where to go and at the same time scanned the landscape. I flew over a valley with a big empty river bad and mountain around it. I remember to look at my hand. It’s solid. It means that this is a lucid dream, not an OBE.
I wanted to go to my grandma’s farm. Right away, my grandma’s farm appeared in front of me. I didn’t see anyone in there. I flew around the house, the front yard, back yard, and neighborhood. It was after rain and everything looked so fresh, and sharp in colors. I miss this place.
As I was leaving the farm, I kept thinking where else I wanted to go. I kept flying and then started to feel sluggish and knew that I was waking up.
I woke up for about an hour and then went back to sleep again. This time, I was in a building with a group of people. Some people there were expecting me and also knew what I was lacking and was accommodating me and providing me with things I need. Then I went into this big library where everyone was free to express whatever creativity and emotions they have and everyone is expressing their inner world in the walkway of the library. Something happened here, but I don’t remember.
Sunday, March 21, 2010
I am with the Truth
“I am with the Truth.”
Six years ago when I was at the bottom of my misery near the end of that relationship, what got me through was “I am with the Truth.”
Yes, I am left alone. Yes, he doesn’t want me. Yes, he and her are happy ever after. Yes, he is with her and I am all alone. Yes, he is so cruel. Yes, He doesn’t want me….
But I am with all the above. I am with the Truth. Where else do I want to be? Where else can I be?
Truth has been and always is here. That’s my resting place.
Six years ago when I was at the bottom of my misery near the end of that relationship, what got me through was “I am with the Truth.”
Yes, I am left alone. Yes, he doesn’t want me. Yes, he and her are happy ever after. Yes, he is with her and I am all alone. Yes, he is so cruel. Yes, He doesn’t want me….
But I am with all the above. I am with the Truth. Where else do I want to be? Where else can I be?
Truth has been and always is here. That’s my resting place.
I am a nobody, just like my cat
3/20 Mindfulness Conference
Attended a mindfulness conference last night and today. When I was about to leave, a woman waited me at the ATM to thank me saying that my experience was that I never got it before but then something happened to me and that’s when I got right into it. She said that’s the best thing she heard out of the whole conference.
Two weeks ago, I was in a 3 day work related training. A woman told me that there is something about what I said and my demeanor that’s really different. There is something very touching.
Last night, two things that I got out of were: The path toward health is kindness. This has been my greatest conclusion out of all the meditations I do.
The other thing was: If you said “Imagine trying to put your hand in that fire like her.” Usually people don’t go in to help that person out of the fire. If you said “try to feel what her hand is feeling in that fire.” This usually get people to get another person out of the fire right away.
Another great thing I found in one of the books was: Where you are strong is usually your weakness. Power sometimes is just the disguise of insecurity or low-self esteem.
Try to present yourself as nobody as possible. If I am so eager to tell people I am in power, try hide that information and just stay in that position of nobody. Try to have no opinion. Try to just observe, not engage.
Turn discomfort into an inquiry.
The decision I came to today is that I need to share what I experienced. I need to go to the insight meditation center.
Right now one challenge for me is if someone threatens the hard work I have around work. When I really ask myself, so why do you get so worked up if a phony person can shine more than she deserves. Besides the reason that I am angry that others got fooled by non truth, there definitely is a sense of insecurity. I am just so bothered by phoniness.
Am I in fear of phoniness? Do I maybe have phoniness as well?
Maybe I value what I achieved so much, that I think it to be wrong if someone falsely get more than what she works for or deserves.
It's all in the attachment to possession, when infact, we can't really possess anything.
Why not just feel that uncomfortable sensation that person feels when she she can be so insecure because she doesn't deserve all that credits. How uncomfortable it must be.
Truth will come out eventually. Truth is always here. Why do you take that on yourself, wanting to reveal the truth tot others?
When I walk in the woods, I ask these questions to the trees. I need to learn from the trees. Every tree is so tall. I don’t admire any tree more than the other. Some are taller than others. But in the scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter.
I need to honor each moment, good or bad. No one moment is better than the other.
My cat Sunny, what a gentle soul. He spent his lifetime doing just sleep, wake up, eat, poop, running around, day in and day out. And then one day, he is gone. Such a nobody, yet such a loving creature.
I am just like that. I am no different.
Attended a mindfulness conference last night and today. When I was about to leave, a woman waited me at the ATM to thank me saying that my experience was that I never got it before but then something happened to me and that’s when I got right into it. She said that’s the best thing she heard out of the whole conference.
Two weeks ago, I was in a 3 day work related training. A woman told me that there is something about what I said and my demeanor that’s really different. There is something very touching.
Last night, two things that I got out of were: The path toward health is kindness. This has been my greatest conclusion out of all the meditations I do.
The other thing was: If you said “Imagine trying to put your hand in that fire like her.” Usually people don’t go in to help that person out of the fire. If you said “try to feel what her hand is feeling in that fire.” This usually get people to get another person out of the fire right away.
Another great thing I found in one of the books was: Where you are strong is usually your weakness. Power sometimes is just the disguise of insecurity or low-self esteem.
Try to present yourself as nobody as possible. If I am so eager to tell people I am in power, try hide that information and just stay in that position of nobody. Try to have no opinion. Try to just observe, not engage.
Turn discomfort into an inquiry.
The decision I came to today is that I need to share what I experienced. I need to go to the insight meditation center.
Right now one challenge for me is if someone threatens the hard work I have around work. When I really ask myself, so why do you get so worked up if a phony person can shine more than she deserves. Besides the reason that I am angry that others got fooled by non truth, there definitely is a sense of insecurity. I am just so bothered by phoniness.
Am I in fear of phoniness? Do I maybe have phoniness as well?
Maybe I value what I achieved so much, that I think it to be wrong if someone falsely get more than what she works for or deserves.
It's all in the attachment to possession, when infact, we can't really possess anything.
Why not just feel that uncomfortable sensation that person feels when she she can be so insecure because she doesn't deserve all that credits. How uncomfortable it must be.
Truth will come out eventually. Truth is always here. Why do you take that on yourself, wanting to reveal the truth tot others?
When I walk in the woods, I ask these questions to the trees. I need to learn from the trees. Every tree is so tall. I don’t admire any tree more than the other. Some are taller than others. But in the scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter.
I need to honor each moment, good or bad. No one moment is better than the other.
My cat Sunny, what a gentle soul. He spent his lifetime doing just sleep, wake up, eat, poop, running around, day in and day out. And then one day, he is gone. Such a nobody, yet such a loving creature.
I am just like that. I am no different.
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